When September 2020 came to view, I was set to make it as productive as possible. I see it as the last month I can focus on blogging alone. The thing is, October 2020 is the month I start my freshman college year. Because of that, I wanted to stretch this month by joining free webinars I somehow see as related to what I am blogging about.

Last September 5, I joined a virtual mentoring program from Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation. While I was reading what would the virtual mentoring program be about, I got interested because it talked about how people managed to focus on both sports and education.

When I read the summary of the event, I was given hope that maybe, instead of sports, I can focus on blogging and not stray far from my college goals.

During the start of the virtual mentoring program, I was astounded to see that all the other participants were African American young boys. I tried recalling any details from the summary I read and remembered nothing about it solely being for young boys. Because of that, I decided to stay and not let my camera on.

At that time, I thought it was such a terrible idea but when I heard all the speeches from the members of the foundation, I realized that among my other silly ideas, this one tops them all for I learned things I knew I would not have learned if I never stayed in the virtual mentoring program dedicated for young boys.

Here are the 15 life lessons I learned from the Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation virtual mentoring program that I was not supposed to be part of:

1. Do not let other people feed off your ignorance.

As sad as this may sound, there are a lot of people who tend to take advantage of other people’s ignorance of issues that are both big and small. To not fall prey to these people, you must always try your hardest to educate yourself.

One thing I was really fascinated about the people who talked during the virtual mentoring program was the way they value education. They see it as something that you can use as a weapon against people who are lurking and waiting to prey on your ignorance.

I think one of the reasons I stayed in the virtual mentoring program was the fact that I was in awe listening to people’s beliefs about education that coincides with my dad’s.

I once read a quote from Becky Albertalli’s Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda which I really loved. The quote was, “But there was something so familiar about the way Blue (one of the characters) described the feeling. It was like he had pulled the ideas from my head.”

I suddenly remembered the quote because that was how it felt like. It was like the people who gave their speeches pulled their ideas about education from my dad’s head and decided to tell it to me using the easiest way I can understand it.

2. Before you learn who you are not, you must learn who you are first.

Oftentimes, we focus on other people’s attributes we want for ourselves not realizing that we are fine the way we are. I have this friend who always opens up to me about her insecurities. Whenever she does that, I always see myself in her for that is how I always am: looking at other people’s attributes and wanting what they have for myself.

Although I cannot really say that I am passed that phase, I am now realizing that I am interesting like how I see other people. I am also learning that self-discovery is the path to both self-love and self-improvement.

3. Sometimes, you will think the universe is cheating, but you should keep thriving despite that.

There are days when I feel like I was cheated on by a higher force such as the universe or God Himself. Although that is the case, I recently started shifting my point of view. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, Iyanla Vanzant said that God gives us life assignments.

Ever since I listened to that podcast episode, I started seeing every occurrence in my life as something that holds a purpose. Like what most people say, God will not give you anything you cannot handle.

No matter what happens, you must keep on thriving and let everything unfold right before you.

4. When you die, everything you own is still going to be here.

In her book, Marie Kondo kept on stating that one must always ask if the things one wants to keep would spark joy. Before I thought it was just a way to declutter your closet, but while I was viewing the virtual mentoring program, I was opened to another point of view about it: life is too short to not fill it with things that make you happy.

It is okay to spoil yourselves with things others call as liabilities as long as it brings you joy. Once you die, it is not those things that you take with you, but the emotions it made you feel.

5. Learn to fall in love with the process.

More often than not, we are too focused on our goal not realizing that our process of reaching it holds beauty, too.

The thing is, not all goals are reached. Yes, they are always in our grasp, but sometimes we fail to take hold of them. During the times when goals are not being grasped, most of us tend to allow ourselves to be gobbled up by the waves of sadness and regret.

I think the reason behind it is that we were too fascinated with the thought of reaching our goals that we do not realize how the process of reaching it allowed us to learn more insights about the world and ourselves.

6. Celebrate when things do not go your way.

I do not know about you, but I used to abhor it when things do not go the way I vicariously lived it.

An example was when I did not pass the D-SHAPE. Before the examination, I have been vicariously studying in De La Salle University-Manila as a senior high school student. I once thought that what one vicariously lives will be a reality without any work so I was really disheartened when I found out I did not pass.

During the first days of studying in Colegio San Agustin-Makati, I cannot help but feel regretful because I know that my path would have been different if not for my laziness to study during the D-SHAPE. Because I was focusing too much on the what-could-have-been, I was not able to make the most of my first days in Colegio San Agustin-Makati.

I never realized that time how the new path I took has shaped me in more ways than none. Looking back, it made me realize that instead of focusing on how things did not go your way, you must focus on your learnings brought by the change in your path.

7. See beneath the struggle.

Although the struggles can be a source of sadness and regret, we must always pay attention to them for they can bring us realizations that we would have never realized if we were always on the safe side of life.

In one of the free courses from Mindvalley, it was stated that loss and sufferings are what pushes as far in life. Although this may sound odd, I do not believe it. It is not the sufferings as a whole that push as far in life; it is the lessons brought by those struggles.

8. Everybody is not supposed to understand your vision.

It is okay that not everyone sees you in the way you envision yourself. As long as you see yourself grasping your dream, that is already enough. You do not need other people to stand by you in achieving your goals.

The friend who supported me in the literary piece I posted in Betsin-Arts Paradise, made me realize how sincerity tops quantity. In this world where we think it is a must to get as much support as we need, we must do our best to pay attention not on the numbers of the support but on the sincerity that comes with the support.

9. When you have a purpose and a plan, there should be no room for distractions.

This may sound weird, but I do not believe in the power of motivation. No matter how much you motivate yourself, if you do not have a plan of action, your motivation will be of no use.

I once read online that once you have a purpose, distractions will easily be eliminated on your track. I consider it as a fallacy. Distractions will always be there that is why you need a plan of action that will combat them as you keep your eyes on your purpose.

10. Failure is not always rejection.

Oftentimes, I view failure as a rejection which should not be the case. Like what one of the speakers said in the virtual mentoring program, people fail because they are not ready for the things they ask themselves.

When the speaker said that, it made me realize that rather than rejection, more often than not, failure is just a pause that will make you evaluate your choices: if you are going to try another route, or try to be stronger.

11. It is okay that people do not believe in you in the past.

One of the important things I realized in the virtual mentoring program is the power of not taking people’s opinions against them. If people’s views do not align with yours, respect it. If their views suddenly coincide with yours, do not let their past views cloud your idea of them.

Like what most people say and believe, change is the most constant thing in the world. If you allow yourself to change, do not interfere with other people’s changes.

12. Abundance is not always in the form of money.

Oftentimes we see abundance as something related to currency which is not the case. In my understanding, currency is the lowest form of abundance you can have. Yes, money allows you to live your life confidently.

I would lie if I suddenly say that I do not dream of having lots of money, but the thing is, I am starting to realize that rather than having money, what I really want are the perks I get to have with money. It is not money that we really crave for; what we crave for are the different things we can own and experience through money.

13. Make your eyes open enough to see people who are struggling.

If you would really take your time to observe the people around you, you would realize that some of them are really struggling and trying to get by day by day.

Sometimes, we are too fixed on seeing the beautiful facade not realizing how there are struggles beneath the surface of each one of us. Once we open our eyes day by day, I hope we do not open it with blind positivity. Instead, let us open it in hopes of seeing both the negative and positive reality.

14. If it is your dream, you should do your best to believe it more than anyone else.

Among all the lessons I learned from the virtual mentoring program, this one is what I consider as my favorite. It really talked to me for dreams are something I hold dear to me.

When this was stated by one of the speakers, it made me realize that most of my dreams are not really mine. They are put unto me by those people around me who I am closely related to such as my parents.

Although that is the case, I am fine with it not because I want to reach the dreams I have that do not coincide with them but because my dreams actually coincide with their dreams for me that I do not see any point on disregarding it.

15. Show up for the people who show up for you.

Before the program ended, one of the members of the virtual mentoring program said that it was okay for the young boys to talk to him through Instagram. He also said that when they write for him, he will write back.

When he stated that, I cannot help but remember the way I always felt disregarded by those who I wanted to learn more from. I am in awe to know that there are actually people who are willing to show up for you the way that you show up for them. It is just really heartwarming.


Why, hello there!

Thank you for reading! I appreciate it a lot.

I think this is my longest blog post so far. I am actually proud of myself for being able to finish writing a list. Before, whenever I see the weekends coming, I tend to eliminate the number of items I enumerate. For this one, I tried my best to finish it and I am so blissful that I actually did. Yay!

By the way, please follow my mom’s Instagram account! If I have an Instagram account, I will surely follow her even if, let us say, I am not her daughter.

If you want to be updated every time I have a new post, subscribe to my email list. I will gladly notify you.

Join 190 other followers

Love,

Aaliziyah

48 thoughts on “15 Lessons From the Virtual Mentoring Program I Was Not Supposed to Be Part Of

  1. I’m really inspired together with your writing talents as neatly as with the structure on your blog. Is that this a paid topic or did you modify it your self? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to peer a nice weblog like this one today.

    Like

  2. “IF IT IS YOUR DREAM, YOU SHOULD DO YOUR BEST TO BELIEVE IT MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.” I definitely agree. If you have something in mind you badly want to have or to be, you should believe extra that it’s possible and attainable, if not now maybe later. Hold on tight! โค

    Like

  3. these are great! yes, show up for the people who show up for you…but you have to start somewhere and sometimes, be the one to show up first. Still learning the art of celebrating when things don’t go my way — the bible says be thankful in all circumstances, so I start there.

    Like

  4. Ohh nice! Glad you learned a lot from that program and thanks for sharing your learnings! I definitely agree with #10. Failure is not always a rejection. As I got older, I realized failing is an important part of life. Failures will make you humble, they will teach you, and they will make you stronger. ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, PS. It’s so cool that your mom has an IG account. Haha! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ohh nice! Glad you learned a lot from that program and thanks for sharing your learnings! I definitely agree with #10. Failure is not always a rejection. As I got older, I realized failing is an important part of life. Failures will make you humble, they will teach you, and they will make you stronger. ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, PS. It’s so cool that your mom has an IG account. Haha! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Like

  6. parang it hit me hard too. one things for sure, if you have a goal. just go for it. hayaan mo sila kung you think hindi na nakakakuha ng support or ng appreciation. in the end its about your journey n how you became a success and not the success itself. it is just the bonus.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I picked up a lot of valuable lessons here and not just from the virtual session you attended, but from you as well. I love how you pick up information and interpret it in such a profound way! I really admire your work and Iโ€™m sure there more where this came from! Goodluck girl! ๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love no.5 the most! Learn to fall in love with the process! I see many people who doesn’t and who is just in it for the results. But there’s something about the hardships and struggles that makes everything worth it! Oh and good luck with college! I’m just sad that you have it this way aka online. But hey it’s still gonna be fun! Thank you for sharing this Aaliziyah!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I totally believe in celebrate when things go your way and fall in love with the process. The first one I love because especially in this social media driven world where we are hounded by succes images, it is easy to think that we r the only ones struggling or having a tough time or just not getting that success. The second one though I agree with I also struggle with accpeting. Haha. I am usually too focused on the goal tand processes give nme infinite tension.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Great tips. A few years ago, someone introduced me to the idea of ‘falling in love with the process’. At the time, I thought it was just a funny way of saying ‘accept that you may not make it’ lol That being said, after trying it out, I realized that there’s more to life than just the destination!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I find it very interesting that all the people in the program were young boys, but if it was only for them, then you wouldn’t have been allowed in, right? Either way, I think everyone can benefit from mentoring, which you clearly did, so I’m really glad you decided to stick with it! These are some great lessons. Number 15 is something that is on my mind CONSTANTLY these days, in both good and bad ways. Good because it’s encouraged me to put more effort into my friendships and to be a less selfish person as I have gotten older, but bad because I have also realised that some of my friends are flat out refusing to grow up and treat me and our other friends with respect. As we near our mid-20s, being young just isn’t a good enough excuse for that kind of behaviour anymore, but I’m also not sure that I’m strong enough to end friendships that I’ve had for so long either.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. These are some great learnings from a Virtual mentoring program. Most of the time we know all these learnings but applying it becomes a little difficult. But posts like this helps in understanding its importance and how vital is itโ€™s application in real life!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sometimes the things that we think are not necessary, are the things that may hold the greatest lessons. I could relate to some of the points as they are things I already know, practice and have talked about. But it’s also interesting to see another person’s point of view. Nice post.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. So many beautiful life lessons in this post! I like #12 the most. Money is not everything. Sure it helps to have some to survive, but if we set our priorities straight, having a loving, supportive family, simple food on the table, clothes on our back, clean running water, a roof over our heads is enough for us to live a contented life. I always put in mind this quote that I read a few years back – “The life you have, this life that you hate, may be someone else’s earnest dream.” Just be thankful. And Be Kind.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Life lessons are true wisdom. We all learn from experience, but should also make the most of things by learning from others who know more and have been through it all already. Lovely post!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. These were different tips that I thought I was going to read from the title, but I thought that this was a great post and awesome to read! The tip that I love the most is, โ€œEverybody is not supposed to understand your vision.โ€ This is huge and especially in blogging. My family has supported me through it all, but I donโ€™t think they always see it as a potential full-time job, just like some of my other friends. I try my best not to take it to heart, so I will remember this idea! Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.