(Audio File)


A:

Hi, Vhianca!

V:

Hi, Aali! Good evening.

A:

Good evening! So, before we formally start, I want you to introduce yourself first. I want the person reading this blog post or listening to this audio file to get to know you in your own words. So, let me just ask this: Who is Vhianca Arisha? Who is she in her eyes?

V:

So, before I go deeply into that question, let us first go to the basics. My name is Vhianca Arisha Flores. I’m 18 years old, and I’m a freshman from De La Salle University. So, before I tell you who I am in my own eyes, let me first enlighten you about what other people do think about me.

So, people around me–my friends and acquaintances–see me as a person who is confident enough in speaking her mind with conviction, and someone who is strong to face the challenges around her…and from that, I can say that I’m the type of person who is indeed confident and bold in speaking my mind because when I don’t speak my mind, it affects my inner peace.

It’s like…to share to the world and to the people my thoughts because I think it’s, not necessary but it’s worthy to hear.

A:

Yah.

V:

Yah, and I think I’m also someone who is emotionally intelligent because personally, I like introspecting; I like knowing myself better through journals, and with that, I’m sensitive with, not just my emotions but also the emotions of other people.

Being aware of your own thoughts and emotions makes you responsible in dealing and communicating with other people.

A:

Yah.

V:

Lastly, I am someone who is passionate, not just in her own principles and morals but in the things she likes doing.

For me, when I have a goal or objective in life–if I have something that I want to do–it’s like I’m really motivated and determined to be the best at it, and I’m really passionate with my hobbies: writing–improving myself in that craft, and I’m also passionate with improving myself through journaling.

That is Vhianca Arisha in her own eyes.

A:

Okay. So, before I move on to the next question, I just want to say that the way other people view you is actually the way I also view you…like you’re really bold and confident. That’s something I really admire about you.

V:

Thank you! I’m very flattered.

A:

Okay. So my next question is: what is self-improvement for you…because, same with beauty standards, we also have different descriptions or definitions of what self-improvement is. So, what is self-improvement for you?

V:

For me, self-improvement is being aware of your past self; being conscious about your mistakes that you did before; and making room for improvement at the present.

For me, self-improvement is a constant process as we exist because the society and the people tend to have the misconception that if we reach a certain age or point in life, we are…we are automatically more intelligent or we have more wisdom compared to the younger generations.

But it doesn’t happen that way because self-improvement happens in each of our timelines as individuals. Rather, we own have our own timelines as individuals.

A:

Yah. I agree with you. So, when you were starting, I just want to ask, why did you choose to better yourself?

V:

Actually, I didn’t have a moment wherein I woke up and I realized that what I did is wrong; I need to change myself; I need to educate myself for the better. It didn’t happen to me like that.

Self-improvement did not occur to me in that way, but it just… I just became conscious of self-improvement the moment that I realized that I’m in the middle of the process. In other words, I only became conscious of self-improvement when I realized its good…its positive effect on me and the people around me.

A:

Yah. Okay. So, you just mentioned the word… the words “positive effect”. Now, I want to know, what were the good things you discovered about yourself when you were…when you were in the journey of self-improvement?

V:

Good things…

A:

Yah. Good things.

V:

A good thing that I really liked about my self-improvement journey is I get to point out my failures that I did in the past and also the mistakes and because of being aware of that, I was able to improve those things in the present and I think because of that, I became more open-minded not just of my own emotions but of the constructive criticisms that people around me suggest that I should do.

It’s like I learned how to humble myself by accepting the constructive criticisms from the significant people around me.

A:

Okay. So my next question is: how about the bad ones? What were the things you discovered about yourself that were really not that good in a way?

V:

Bad one…

A:

Yah.

V:

Wait. I’m thinking because until you asked this…that question, I’ve only thought about the good ones.

A:

Yah. It’s okay. You can think…because in my case, if you’re reading my blog posts, I actually mentioned there that I realized I was a toxic friend, and before I just thought that I was a fair-weather friend, but when I was like in the process of self-discovery, I suddenly realized that I’m not just a fair-weather friend; I’m also a toxic friend, and that sparked my interest to actually be a better friend for the…for those people who consider me as a friend. So, what’s yours?

V:

Oh. Okay. I remembered.

A:

Yah.

V: The more you improve yourself, the more you are aware of your wrongdoings and because of that, you also recognize the wrongdoings of the people around you.

So, for me, the bad thing that I gained from self-improvement is the capability to recognize the faults of other people and it may be a good thing, but the bad part of that realization is that when I realized–when I point out, and when I recognize the mistakes of other people–it’s like I look at them in a bad light… those people as someone who’s immature and close-minded.

Yah…because I’m the type of person who prefers to just stay away if…from people who have contrasting beliefs and attitudes than mine because honestly interacting and dealing with people who opposes your principles and your values is just so draining.

So, instead of like educating them, and pointing out their mistakes so they can improve, I choose to just distance myself, and I’m not proud of that. That’s honestly one of the things that I want to improve in myself.

A:

Yah. But the thing is, some people like especially if you have different beliefs, and then their beliefs are not rooted in…what do you call this…facts…when their beliefs are not rooted in facts, they tend to be close-minded about other issues like they want…like their beliefs is what they think as…as something that holds superiority against others.

So, I…when you mentioned that you’re like…you just stray away from them, and yah…I actually….what do you call this…I actually respect that because sometimes it’s really hard to educate people.

V:

Yes. But, I realized, just now, at this moment, that sometimes staying away from the people without them knowing the reason is kind of unfair.

A:

Oh. Yah.

V:

Kasi…If you’re the mature one, then you must adjust to the people who are not yet in that level of maturity. You must like aid them to improve your…to improve themselves, rather. Di ba?

A:

Wow. This is actually so…I gained lots of realizations with just that question.

Okay. So, I don’t know if you still remember this, but prior to this interview, when we were like brainstorming about topics, I…you told me that you don’t know what to talk about, so what I did was suggested some of the topics that we can cover and then few of those topics that I suggested were self-improvement, self-confidence, and…I don’t know…self-love? Yah.

I’m not sure, but among those topics what you said that you would like to talk about with me is self-improvement. Now, I just want to know, what is the reason you have with choosing self-improvement?

V:

Because out of the options you gave me, self-improvement is the only thing that I constantly do and apply in my life. Yes, I have self-love. I have self-confidence, but it’s not something that I continuously do because there are times that I don’t love myself. There are times that my self-esteem is very low.

So, for me, talking about the things that I don’t usually apply in my life is hypocrisy, personally ha… personally.

A:

Yah. Okay. So, now I want to go to the challenges you faced. My question is: What were the challenges that…that…what were the challenges that…that you faced…I don’t know…I can’t think of any more words…what were the challenges you faced when you were starting out with your self-improvement journey?

V:

Yah. I will mention two challenges because this is what I remember–one external and one internal. So, the internal one which is only I can conquer that challenge, without the help of other people, is inconsistency. Actually, inconsistency is one of my insecurities, not just in my self-improvement journey but also in life, in general.

I tell myself to practice what I preach but there are times where I unintentionally go back to my past self and do the mistakes that I realized…that I realized to be wrong. It just happens sometimes. You can’t help it, but do it, you know?

A:

Yah. Inconsistency is actually something I also find as very challenging for me. Being consistent, rather. No matter what I do, I tend to like go back to who I was before. I…I tend to…I tend to see myself as motivated into moving forward, but there are just really days when I just want to do the things I used to do before even..even though I know that they have negative implications.

V:

Yah. Inconsistency is like the fragments of your past self is like conquering your present self and that is honestly one of the difficulties that I encounter, and it just like affects me… affects the way I perceive myself.

A:

Yah. Do you have any more challenges that you faced?

V:

Oh. Yah. Like what I said earlier, inconsistency is the internal challenge, and my external challenge is pressure from my peers, from the society, from the people around me.

Pressure because the people who I’ve known in my past… who I don’t interact with in the present have this version…old version of me stuck in their minds.

A:

Yah.

V:

I’m afraid that the things that I’m doing now and I’m preaching about today will appear to them as fake kasi they’re not used to me speaking about that. In the past, I’m the entirely opposite person. So, in short, I am pressured that they will think of me as a hypocrite just because I’m not the person who I used to be.

A:

In relation to that, I remember my mom once told me like one of her many lessons was the fact that the people…the misunderstandings that the people have of you or their judgments of you is not actually something that you have…what do you call this…that you can change. Like it’s their own beliefs of you so just let it be. Like that’s what my mom always preaches about.

V:

Yes and I think caring about the opinions and judgments of people towards you is like voluntarily imprisoning yourself in a cage.

A:

Yah. I agree with you. It’s like you’re the one who’s actually stepping unto the box that they’ve…that they’ve made for you.

V:

Yes, true.

A:

Do you have anything else? Like any challenges you can think of?

V:

Challenges… I have another challenge pala aside form those two.

A:

Okay. What’s that?

V:

Which is I feel guilty about outgrowing relationships kasi di ba I mentioned earlier that when I…when I’m aware of the faults…the faulty deeds that the people do, I tend to stay away to preserve my own energy.

A:

Yah.

V:

So, from that, I find it difficult to face the guilt when I outgrow and stay away from the people, and honestly until now, I still can’t figure out how to conquer… how to face that challenge.

A:

Okay. So, my last question for you today… time passes by so fast! We’re already on the last question. So, my last question is: what advice would you like to give to the person reading or watching or listening, rather, to this right now in relation to your own self-improvement journey?

V:

Yan. So the advice I will mention is also the advice that I’m continuously giving myself. It is what I remind myself every time.

So, first is don’t ever be sorry for cutting off people in your life. You’re not doing it because of pride, but you’re doing it for your own mental health because there are just people out there who have contrasting beliefs and values from you and sometimes help… you can’t help it but like go back to your former self and they pull you backward.

So, cutting connections is not at all bad. Sometimes, it’s healthy because it only means that you’ve matured enough to recognize faulty deeds, mindsets, and ideologies and that you’re… you’re a better person for wanting to improve, for craving a new environment which you can grow.

And another advice is never seek validation from other people and situations. The only validation we need is to ourselves. As what I’ve said earlier, being concerned about the judgment of people around you is voluntarily imprisoning yourself, so don’t let them hinder you… hinder you in being free, in exploring… in exploring your capability of growth.

A:

Yah. So I just want to–

V:

And–

A:

Okay. Do you have anything else?

V:

Continue, continue.

A:

Okay. So, I just want to add when you…with the one where you said that…what do you call this…wait, I forgot…that…that outgrowing people is a sign of maturity. Yah. I actually agree with that. Because people, including me, sometimes I tend to…to see it as something selfish when people tend to dump you because…you know…you no longer have the same compatibility level and all that.

But then, throughout the years, I realized that that’s not actually the case. It’s actually like letting go of people, of relationships, is actually something that proves how healthy or how healthy your mindset is now and how mature you have become.

V:

Yes. In relation to that, I want to say that don’t be blinded by your own subjectiveness kasi di ba we have a subjective view of self-improvement and sometimes, how you view it is not how other people view it. So, in short, my advice is to be teachable. Always be open from constructive criticisms that people offer you

A:

Yah.

V:

Sometimes, when you see yourself as someone who’s mature enough and educated to grasp big concepts, you tend to shut off the comments of other people because you think that you know better than them.

That’s a bad thing because you must also balance your own input to the input of other people for you to improve. Self-improvement doesn’t just happen within. It also happens with the help of other people you realize your mistakes. You don’t realize your own faults because sometimes you think that you’re perfect for that, you know?

A:

Yah.

V:

But that’s not the case because other people might see things that you don’t see for yourself.

A:

Wow! That’s so lovely.

V:

And my last advice is don’t compare yourself to the people around you, but compare yourself to the person you are yesterday.

A:

Yah.

V:

When you realize who you are yesterday, you will see how far you’ve grown and that will motivate you more to continue your self-improvement journey.

A:

Yah. Okay. So ano in addition to that, I just want to share that there was this quote I really loved that went around the internet and then it’s… yah… it basically says that it is important to stay on your own lane because sometimes most of us see life as a competition.

Like we always should be ahead of one another and now that you mentioned about how one should only think not really think about himself or herself but rather to focus on her own brought me to remember that quote.

V:

Yes.

A:

Do you have anymore?

V:

Sometimes we base our self-improvement on the achievements of other people.

A:

Yah.

V:

Di ba? But that’s not the case kasi we can only set the level of our own improvement.

A:

Yah. Well-said! Do you have anything else to say?

V:

No, I’m done. I think so.

A:

Wow! Okay. Thank you so much for accompanying me today, Vhianca!

V:

Yes. I feel honored for being your first guest.

A:

Yes, you’re the first guest!

V:

Okay.


Why, hello there!

While I was editing some of my past blog posts, I realized how self-centered I can get.

If you have not noticed, most of my posts are about me and my point of view when it comes to things. Because of that, I have decided to create this blog collection where I focus on other people’s stories in relation to faith, family, friendship, self-improvement, and self-love.

Do you want to hear more about Vhianca? Check out her Instagram account, and Twitter account!

Speaking of Instagram, check out my mom’s, too!

If you want to be updated every time I have a new post, subscribe to my email list. I will gladly notify you.

Join 190 other followers

Love,

Aaliziyah

40 thoughts on “Introspecting with Vhianca Arisha

  1. Hello again Aaliziyah! After a while of being subscribed to your blog, it’s actually my first time seeing you! You rarely post photos yet you are so beautiful! Anyway, I love the intro you did here! It’s an interview type which makes this more interesting. Tonighg with Boy Abunda lang Ang peg, girl? Haha kidding aside, I love it! There’s so much to learn here! Just keep being you. Everything you are experiencing will make sense later on. I can’t wait to read more about you. Last but not the least, animo la salle!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I absolutely freaking love this!!!!! Your friend is amazing and I actually relate to her way of thinking. She just puts it into better words than I ever would. I’ve truly learned a lot and i feel like I grew as a person just reading this!!! Wow!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So many learnings you can pick up from this interview! Both of you contributed immensely. I agree, we shouldn’t care much about the opinions and judgments of others that much. But somehow I’m guilty of doing this especially in my 20’s. Now that I’m in my 30’s I’m wiser now! Kebs nalang! 🙂 HAHA!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I super agree on your thoughts about having a journal. I keep mine, too, for like more than 10 years already and it helped me a lot on knowing myself better and building my confidence up in everything I like doing. Agree also about people seeing improvements or achievements as competition. I have to admit I’ve been there for a short time as well because hindi naman maiiwasan na you compare yourself with your friends or colleagues but it’s really important na you are aware of your own strengths and mindful of your weaknesses. Great read!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It was refreshing to read about your experience with self-improvement. I find that everyone writes about that big ‘ah-ha’ moment, but my own experience was more like yours. There wasn’t one moment when it suddenly made sense and my mindset changed – it was a gradual shift inspired by the positive impact that I was seeing from the small changes that I implemented.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Journaling is a good way of knowing ourselves, especially when we start with a question. Self-awareness help us forward on our way to improving ourselves. Your thoughts are positive.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Vhianca Arisha is wise beyond her years. I cannot believe these thoughts are from an 18 year old college freshman. I like her opinion about self improvement. It is true that it self improvement not only comes from within one’s self but from other’s opinions too. Thank you for sharing this interview. It was a great read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for the comment, Kristine Nicole Alessandra. I agree with you. Vhianca is really wise beyond her years! I can attest to that for we have been friends for the looooongeest time. Lol!

      Like

  8. Honestly, distancing yourself from people whose beliefs or behaviour that you don’t agree with might be a good thing, because a lot of people are unfortunately not willing to change, especially once they’ve reached adulthood. I end up getting in quite a few heated discussions with friends as I try to educate people on certain topics, but they try to rationalize their beliefs (or other people’s beliefs) by saying that’s “just who they are”, and they aren’t willing to change no matter what I say. So, distance ends up being the only answer – although I haven’t given up on them yet, as they’ve been in my life for so many years. I’m just saying this for any readers who may be going through the same thing: it’s okay to distance yourself from people like that. Sometimes it’s the only answer.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I loved the interview! And there is nothing wrong with sharing your point of view – I love reading about how others experience things. It was nice to read about someone else’s experience and get to be here for your first guest interview! (So exciting!!)

    Liked by 1 person

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