Dear Eyes,

Both of you were branded ugly by the people around me and I made the mistake of seeing you in their lenses.

I know a simple five-letter word cannot erase nor give justice to the hurt brought by my self-deprecating jokes subjected to both of you, and other people’s constant teasing because of your sizes but still, sorry.

I am sorry for choosing to see you not as my precious orbs that allow me to see everything around me but as my flaws that diminished my chances of being beautiful in the eyes of the world that sees in standards.

For as long as I can remember, I have treated both of you as my greatest flaws. Before, if I were asked the question “what would you want to change about yourself?”, without a shadow of a doubt, I will answer both of you.

Your sizes were the reason I was called names way back in grade school. Everyone around me saw the both of you as abnormally big like the eyes of a Tarsier. I know the comparison was utterly exaggerated but because of that, I wanted both of you to be modified.

I remember, one of my friends in junior high school jokingly told me that I would have been beautiful if not for my big eyes–if not for both of you. Because of that, I would look at my reflection in the mirror while squinting to picture my face with your sizes diminished.

When I realized that I look more appealing with the both of you smaller, I searched ways on how I can hide your sizes to fit the world’s standard of normality not realizing that it is not the both of you that needs modification but people’s sickeningly ridiculous beauty standards that I tried conforming to.

All my life, I saw the two of you as nothing more than my flaws. I have never seen how capable I am because of both of your presence.

Without both of you, I would not have been capable of crying whenever I feel my emotions get the best of me; I would not have been capable of enjoying the things around me; I would not have been capable of seeing the people that are dear to me; and most of all, I would not have been capable of seeing everything the world has to offer–both its beauty and ugliness.

My eyes, the two of you were never the problem. Your sizes that the people around me have labeled as “too big” were never something I should be ashamed of for it was something that was fashioned from my parents’ pairs of eyes.

I am sorry I am only realizing it now. I am sorry for never taking the time to appreciate all the things both of you have done for me.

Both of your ugliness was something I have let other people embed to the two of you because of my lack of self-esteem.

I am sorry for not having the bravery to stand up during the times you needed me to, and for choosing to stand up only after the teasing have gone down; I am sorry for letting other people’s words filled with opinionated criticisms based on subjective standards get to me.

To my eyes that see the beauty in everyone even though everyone fails to see their beauty, both of you deserve apologies from everyone who has hurt the two of you. I am sorry I can only give you mine.

Love,

the girl who is now proud of calling both of you her eyes


Hello,

Thank you for reading! I appreciate it a lot.

This is one of my most personal pieces.

When I was in grade school and early junior high school, I was subjected to name-calling. Although the people who called me names treated their name-calling as a simple joke, their remarks bruised my self-esteem to the point that I hated posting pictures of me online.

It was only when I turned senior high school that I realized the value of not letting their remarks get to me. Like what Angel Cruz said in the spoken word poetry titled “About the Good Days”, “there’s nothing this Barbie world can do to cut you unless you decide to“.

If you want to be updated every time I have a new post, subscribe to my email list. I will gladly notify you.

Join 190 other followers

Love,

Aaliziyah

94 thoughts on “An Apology Letter to My Eyes

  1. It’s so courageous of you to write this down and so inspiring din.. I think lahat tayo may insecurities sa katawan. Late ko na nalaman tong trick na to but now, pag may nakakapansin sa insecurities ko dati, eh sinasabi ko, nagmana lang naman ako sa parents ko. May magagawa ba ako? Hehe

    Like

  2. awwww, darling your eyes see beauty because you have realized that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. not in its cliche form but in the most real way you have realized it because you went through it. be you! be the beautiful you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sabi nga nila,… beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. kung tingin nila eh di maganda.. pero sa sarili mo naman you feel okay, maayos and all, please wag mawalan ng kompyansa sa sarili.. wag pansinin ang sinasabi ng iba. just strive harder para mag iba din ang tinign nila sayo int he future.hopefully, end up better.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such a beautiful and inspiring post. I also have some insecurities but I’ve learned to accept my flaws, and it helps me appreciate myself more ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The thing is, only you can decide how you will see things. Because of the pain I gained from the name-calling, I decided that it was time for me to look at it in another light. I posted this piece on my blog because I want others to know that they can choose and stand up for themselves. Thank you so much for the comment, Ketki! I appreciate it.

      Like

  5. such an inspiring post! i’m glad you were able to overcome this impediment and realized the importance of self love. thank you for sharing to your story💞 much love🤍

    Follow @everythingtips for tips and recommendations if interested! It would mean a lot to me!🥺🤍

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nobody is perfect even them who are ridiculously teasing you. Sometimes those flaws we think make us stand out in a positive way but people who somehow envy you cannot see that. Think about it as that ok? Cheer up!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I also have big eyes and I always loved it about my looks. I wish my vision was better but I love adding some glasses to my outfits so it’s kinda ok

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol! Hmm…maybe there will come a time when I am not anymore shy about my face. When that time comes, I will surely put my real pictures on my blog. Thank you so much, Karis | Don’t Dream, Just Travel!

      Like

  8. I have big eyes too!!! And when my boyfriend teased me about it, I get pikon sometimes but he said it’s one of the things he love about me daw awwwts! 😂 So don’t worry sometimes yung iniisip mong flaws, could be something that’s admired about you by someone else. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I personally know a few people who have wished all their lives that they had bigger eyes. What eventually matters is not the size, shape or color of any of our body parts but what lays deep within our hearts. Thank you for this reminder. Each one of us was made unique for a reason. There is no two of us. Not even identical twins.

        Thank you for sharing your story. There are many who need to hear this.

        Like

  9. Such a beautiful piece. Reminds me of my insecurities during my adolescence but luckily I was able to learn to love myself above those weakness. I guess it’s just a passing phase that we need to undergo, and learn from.

    Our eyes are the windows to our soul. God has given you that special gift and I guess we should just recognize its beauty.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hey Aaliziyah! Your eyes are your asset. Inggit lang sila kaya ka nila inaasar. Don’t you know na Angelina Jolie hated her lips but it became her trademark? Si Anne Curtis, hated her big lips but it became one of her assets. There’s an America’s Next Top Model named Allison and her eyes are enormous but she’s one of the strongest models. She was the competition in ANTM. She kept winning the challenges. However, I’m glad that you are slowly finding the strength to accept who you truly are ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This was such a great read and I could really relate because there are a dozen of insecurities that I have on my face and body I used to want to fix up. We have to realize though that we don’t have to change a thing. We’re beautiful and we have to believe that. Be fierce and confident cause ur a queen.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I really love this piece! You have a creative and beautiful imagination. I think for now, I’d like to apologize to my eyes for straining them too much as I spend long hours on my laptop huhu.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my gosh! Same, bitethegram! Because of your comment, I remembered that I have been using my gadget nonstop today. I better rest. Lol! By the way, thank you so much for the compliment!

      Like

    1. Chei Pangan, thank you so much! When I was writing this piece, I also felt my eyes water. Remembering the name-calling brought back the pain I felt before but I pushed through with writing this because I know this can empower a lot of individuals who also experience and is still experiencing being called names.

      Like

  13. This is such a powerful piece, and an important one too. I think we could all benefit from apologizing to ourselves for the hurtful things we said to ourselves as younger people, as it’s all too easy to repeat the things that other people say to us when we just wanted to fit in. I’m glad to hear that you no longer view your eyes as ugly; I’m sure they are beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I love how you use your words and how you describe how you see the world. They see what’s real and the what-nots. But most importantly, they are the witness of our history, making our marks as we venture towards independence and empowerment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Autumn Murray! I also consider myself a work in progress. Although that is the case, I have accepted that there are things that do not need changing such as my eyes.

      Like

  15. Wow – this is so so powerful. And so relatable! I am so sorry that others have painted your beauty in such a light. I am so happy that you can see the beauty that you possess now! I find that oftentimes – as we are growing, we lean on others to tell us how we should feel about ourselves. That next step of a breakthrough – once we realize that we get to decide ourselves on how we feel – is overwhelming and magical. It’s important to remember that you need no apology from others – only an apology from yourself. Thank you so much for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. adultingwithpam, thank you so much! Your comment made me really happy. I could not agree more with what you said that we lean on others to tell us about how we should feel about ourselves. It is really evident in the way I live. I cannot say that I do not anymore let people’s words get to me but I do know that there will come a time that I will live without caring about their opinions.

      Like

  16. So lovely that you have been able to make peace with something you used to hate about yourself. Kids can be so mean, and the things they say can really stick in your mind for so long. Thank you for sharing, really inspiring!

    Chloe xx

    Liked by 1 person

  17. This was so beautiful and heartfelt. Of course, I don’t know what you look like, but it doesn’t matter. The grass is always greener and I’m sure your eyes are beautiful just like your spirit, from I glean from your writing. Keep on loving yourself!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. So sorry about the name-calling but it’s a good thing you’ve realized that you do not need to be held captive by the cruel words of others. You are beautiful and you’ve got eyes. Continue to be thankful. They are those who would have loved to use glasses instead of being blind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Viano, thank you so much for apologizing despite the fact that you were not part of the name-calling. I appreciate it a lot. I love your last sentence. Sometimes we are too caught up thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side not realizing that the grass in our side is not really that bad.

      Like

  19. Thank you for opening your hearts to us, and letting us know what you felt then. You are beautiful then, now, and even in the future because you have a beautiful heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. people can and are cruel. All I can say is that most cosplayers have to buy contacts to make their eyes more big and round, so really, the grass is always greener on the other side. good for you to find solace and contentment and even for being proud that you have awesome big eyes that can actually see.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Some people just don’t have anything better to do than to judge and crush somebody else’s self esteem. I really love this piece you wrote. I can feel your emotions through your words. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are enough. Hugs! Thanks for sharing this lovely piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I believe it’s part of growing pains, always got one part of our body we don’t like n given emphasis because people notice it. Even made fun of it. In my younger years got crush on this good looking hunk of a guy, a cousin of my classmate in high school. He commented, I could have been pretty if not of my button nose. Though it bothers n made me so insecured for a years but I came to reconciliation n accept it. Like what you did.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. This is a beautiful and moving piece. I am so glad you have been able to make peace with a part of yourself you saw as a flaw and realized beauty really is in the eye of the beholder (no pun intended) and that it’s what you think that matters, no one else.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. This is such an inspiring post! I love that you were able to share this with the world and that you’ve been able to overcome this obstacle with your self esteem. It’s so hard pushing out the thoughts of what others will think, but it truly doesn’t matter. It really takes time and strength to get to that point and it’s so amazing that you did! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  25. don’t fret, young lady. beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder. if you show inner beauty, it will be seen by more people than you care to. just be yourself, be happy, be kind and everything will fit in place.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.